Once again, a celebrity steps forward and helpfully illustrates our book for us.

 

Knows best.

 

From Chapter 11, Giving Unto Others (which was, to be fair, partially inspired by Gwynnie):

“Having played out every major life event and career triumph in front of an audience of millions, a celebrity will quite often develop a messiah complex and decide that what the world really wants from her is to tell it what to do. Despite the supreme condescension, this is often born out of a fear of career or public decline. It’s every insecure busybody friend you ever had, writ large.”

***

“World-Improving Tips of the Stars!
1. Start with the assumption that you know best.

2. Point to something that bothers you.Clear your
throat. Point again. Repeat until people start looking
at you.”

 

From E!

Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Being Mean to Water Affects How It Freezes

 At least Gwyneth Paltrow keeps an open mind…

In the May 29 edition of Goop, the Mortdecai actress, 41, revealed that she is “fascinated by the growing science behind the energy of consciousness and its effects on matter.” In particular, Paltrow said she loves a book by Japanese scientist Masaru Emoto, The Hidden Messages in Water. “I have long had Dr. Emoto’s coffee table book on how negativity changes the structure of water, how the molecules behave differently depending on the words or music being expressed around it,” she wrote.

Emoto’s work has often been criticized by his peers and is widely considered to be pseudoscience.”

Things are bad when professional celebrity fellator E! is pointing out that you’re talking crap, Gwynnie. Now granted, this isn’t strictly an example of Gwynnie trying to save the world, like she usually does, but we can’t help thinking she’s going to combine her current “be kind to water” campaign with last month’s ill-advised “reading mean tweets about me is exactly the same as going through war” idea and simply declare herself the Goddess of Water or something. Remember: whenever a celebrity tries to teach the world or save the world, you only need to scratch lightly to find the self-serving motivations under the surface. Maybe she’s launching a line of designer water. We wouldn’t be remotely surprised.

 

 

You can play the at-home version of “Be Me or Do Me Bingo” by buying our book, darlings!