From Chapter 7, Symbiotic Rebranding, aka Marriage:

Churches and temples have such unflattering lighting for magazine-cover-quality picture taking, so it’s the rare big celebrity wedding ceremony that ever sees the inside of one. Since this event must have the utmost air of exclusivity, the ceremony and reception can’t be held in any two-bit hotel or catering hall, where the public they’re so desperate to have love them might accidentally ruin everything by crashing their wedding. No, it has to be on a grand estate somewhere, lent to them for the occasion by some billionaire producer or oil sheikh. And it absolutely must be outdoors, so that the much-maligned paparazzi can scale the gates or launch helicopters overhead. A true attention whore would never stage her nuptials inside, where there’s no chance for outsiders to turn it into a frantic media circus. Then the whole thing will have been for nothing.


Bearing in mind that this is purely gossip at this point, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Britney Spears:

Elton-John-AIDS-Foundation-2014-Oscars-Party-Red-Carpet-Rundown-Tom-Lorenzo-Site-TLO (1)

Britney Spears is ready to walk down the aisle with boyfriend of one year David Lucado.

And she plans to do so in rock ‘n’ roll style at Graceland, the home once shared by Elvis Presley and his wife Priscilla, according to a Tuesday report from RadarOnline.

The Toxic singer is interested in the Memphis Tennessee location – which is now a museum – because the 32-year-old wants to grab as much attention as she can for her third wedding, according to the site.

While she is not yet officially engaged, the Toxic singer has her eye on the estate not just because it is her dream venue, but also because it is potentially a big money earner.

A source told the website: ‘Britney wants to get as much attention and money for pictures with her third wedding as she did for her second, which is why she is considering reaching out to Elvis’ daughter, Lisa Marie Presley, to ask if she can be married in the Graceland Estate in Memphis, Tennessee.

‘Getting married at the home of the late king of rock and roll in an elegant Southern-style ceremony would certainly generate one-of-a-kind pictures that Brit already plans to make the front page of magazines around the world.’

Like we said, it’s purely gossip at this point, but should it ever be confirmed, you all have our permission to shout out “BE ME OR DO ME BINGO” as soon as you hear the news. Still, while this certainly has attention-whoring written all over it, we doubt it’ll surpass Kanye and Kim’s wedding for sheer celeb-asshattery.