Darlings, now that you’ve read the book (Right? You HAVE read the book? Don’t make us start begging again!), you can start doing that fun thing one of our readers, foodycatAlicia dubbed “Everyone Wants to Be Me Bingo.” That is to say, since the book was written so as to define the tropes of celebrity life without naming any actual celebrities, you can take the ideas and listed tropes in the book and look for their occurrence out in the so-called “real world” of celebrities.
For instance, in the chapter entitled Attention Whoring, we wrote:
“When the returns start diminishing on that front, the lazy star might start to put a little work in on her online presence and actively engage her more ardent fans by sending them little messages of support and thanks. This is generally inoffensive, but it invariably turns into the star using her platform to post vague, Zen-like proclamations about life, with accompanying phone snapshots of a beach view or something equally banal. Alternatively, they may post ominous messages that almost sound like first drafts of suicide notes, written by someone with two fingers. “Y does pain exist? #sadtoday.” These will also get the public riled up, especially if the star then goes dark and makes no more announcements for days at a time. Her more frantic fans will start posting video tributes set to horribly maudlin country songs before the week is out.”
The Daily Mail, last month:
“It may be time for Ryan Phillippe to step away from his Twitter account.
The Cruel Intentions star went on a worrying rant on Monday, telling his followers that he was ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired’.
Ryan, 39, followed his ambiguous message with ‘Ya feel me’ before explaining his mood further.
‘To clarify: mentally/socially/culturally,’ he said.
Adding: ‘Physically I’m good. My personal “illness” rooted in general frustration’.
The tweets appeared on his official account, which has just 27,700 followers.”
Oooh, that last line was quite the bitchy burn, Daily Mail. But see? Now you can play the home game edition of “Everyone Wants to Be Me or Do Me!” Because these little stars just can’t help themselves, darlings.